White House Momma...

Yee ha! Man, I feel another baby brewin!

OK, I can't take it anymore! So here it goes...

Dear Women of the United States of America:

In case you have forgotten, this year marks the 150th anniversary of the real womens movement. Ah yes....women's rights, we can vote, no more standing around the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant no more! We still have a ways to go (equal pay for one), but hell...we have come a long way ladies. With that being said--what the **** is going on with this ridiculous 20 point rise in support by white women of the PTA mom, moose hunter, hockey mom extraordinaire, baby makin, Vice President Elect, Saucy Sarah Palin.

Let me tell you what her nomination was...it was a marketing maneuver at its finest and the white women of the U.S. were the target demo and man oh man what sorry ass consumers we have become.

Seriously, it all happened like this. A bunch of political strategists brought in some big wig ad execs--maybe from a genius company like Nike or Target, but someone said, "OK, all we need to do is pick some woman, make her "family oriented" make sure she has a boat load of kids, a big mouth, and make sure she is somewhat pleasant to look at and surely all of the white women who have supported Hillary Clinton will jump on board and vote McCain!

Ladies....this is an insult to all of us and does a pistol packing momma who clearly states over and over again that her biggest accomplishment in life was lying on her back 5 times to produce her babies--constitute a great leader. I think not. Have any of you taken the few minutes needed to read her official bio? She has a mere BA in Journalism, was Mayor of a town with a population smaller than my neighborhood (7800) and clearly hates gay people and womens rights. I love gay people, who doesn't love Ellen Degeneres? But that is just the tip of the iceberg.

I understand the mindset--put a woman in there and that will soften the blow of possibly having another blue-haired-old-man pounding our country into the ground. But damn people---couldn't you find someone less mommy and more maverick (as they like to call themselves).

John McCain sounds like he should be a character in Sesame Street--Maverick? Maybe a hundred years ago, then he met his hot wife, helped her spend her daddy's money and bought his way into politics, then he openly insults the women of this country by choosing a running mate who has lesser credentials than our youthful Mayor of Pittsburgh.

This is an outrage. Is that what we have become? Haven't we worked our tails off for the past 150 years to be more than baby makers? My stomach was turning during that Republican convention and I really watched it with an open mind. Up until that point, I was taking a stand as an independent voter and was hoping the Republicans would give me something to work with. If one more woman of supposed power stood on that stage and boasted her abilities to make babies--I was gonna puke.

Tell 18 year old Susie or 28 year old Juanita who both have 5 kids from various Joe's, live on my tax dollars and could care less about the struggles that their children will endure---that the production of multiple children is their finest accomplishment. Hey why not--that is all the Republican women had to offer. Hey ladies, have a bunch of babies, teach your daughters to have a bunch of babies, become mayor of a piss ass little town, shoot a moose and you too can be Vice President of the United States of America!

Lastly, if I were the ad exec brought in during this round table of ignorance..I would have at least pitched Condi Rice. Two birds one stone--a black woman. I love Condi and if you want to read something impressive--read her bio. Remember kids, when John McCain's tapped out ticker decides to call it quits, our fair country will be run by the PTA and the message to all of the would be female CEO's of the furture is--lay down and spread em girls, our country needs more children!

The 3 Year Plan...

Question: How does everyone feel about my idea that it should be law that married couples MUST evaluate their relationship every 3 years?" Let me elaborate.....

I think we would lower the divorce rate if upon year 3 we were required to sit amongst an impartial mediator and evaluate the happiness and effectiveness of our chosen one. Sounds silly, but think about it. What if when you decided to say "I do"---you do so knowing that you must only adhere to that commitment for 3 years and then you will both have a chance to "opt out" if your expectations have not been met.

Before everyone reads into this as it always seem to happen....I am not referring to me and Numnuts (we are not married), but I am referring to so many I know who have failed with their "lifelong" commitment. That statement alone says it all....I don't think they have failed, but my divorced friends have said it over and over again!

Till death do you part....WOW that is insane! How in the world can you stand there and promise such a thing? That is a lot of pressure!!! There is no other aspect in your life that requires you to succumb to such an idea...till death. I will take this great job, till death. I would like to use your lawn mower Bob, till death do I give it back! My favorite food is pizza..till death. I will honor thy parents..till death. I know many who sadly loathe their parents. You get my drift.

Here is what I believe happens. You are colorfully in love. Awwww. Kiss, kiss, hug, hug..whatever. Back to reality and along comes that dreaded--"Don't worry honey, we won't become that routine couple." Day in, day out, you work, you manage your household, maybe throw a kid in the mix and "POW"--we now have what is to be the rest of your life.

I don't think it is fair. By year 3--you have a better understanding of one another. The va va voom simmers down, you look forward to seeing your mate, but you also look forward to seeing if your mate is going to clean out the garage, fix the damn dishwasher, or throw you on the kitchen floor for a good romp (like he used to back in year 1 & 2).

So what if we have an option to--well, "opt out" without any catastrophic loss. Think about it....when you say, "I do" traditionally, this is "I do" forever. Well, since we all know that is not the case anymore, what if the "I do" was for 3 years and then all parties have an opportunity to sign on for 3 more and on and on. Just knowing that you are supposed to have this mate for life creates a lot of pressure to make it work. Then, if it fails there is so much grief and your entire world crumbles. Ever seen a good divorce? All I see is complete and utter disaster and inhumane hatred--not a pretty sight.

Devising a 3 year plan will soften that blow for the so many that are surprised when their lifelong lover changes his or her mind. They used to call it the 7 year itch. By year 7 you have completely lost your own identity and way too much at stake. By year 3, all joint assets (which means acquired together) will be divided equally without that monstrous battle and if a kid fell in the mix--both parties shall maintain equal custody without the inhumane battle that is sadly par for the course per divorces.

OK, just my thought. Hey, look at it this way...When you want to start a business you are supposed to develop a 5 year plan. Banks want it, private investors want it---you must have one. This soon to be business owner will "commit" to this venture like nothing they have ever committed to in their life, day in and day out. So why not a 3 year plan for something you have little control of?

I mean seriously, who can predict what will happen, how someone might change, or even determine if you really love someone until some time has passed. It is impossible. Just think of the joy and excitement that would come on the 3 year anniversary and you walk out of the room saying, "Glad we both agree" no harm, no foul.

For the record: My parents have been happily married for 41 years and have set the finest example of "till death do you part." Alas, my mom pokes my dad in the morning and says: "Hey you old bastard, dead yet?" It is a family joke..maybe not for everybody!

Good Morning Beaver!

I have a question that I would love to be answered by both genders. Ready...here goes: Do all men send pictures of nasty, naked women to one another via text message/email? This may sound like a senseless question and I am sure most of the women would say--hell ya they do, but I really wonder.

Here is why..yesterday I was sitting comfortably on our boat minding my own business when all of a sudden something came over me and I decided to fumble my way through numnut's cell phone. I know what you are saying (men) "Oh how dare she?" Whatever..it was there. Anyway, the very first thing I found was a text message sent in the morning from a 58 year old male friend of Numnuts that contained more than 10 wildly open beaver shots. There was some girl on girl, of course the oversized booby babe and to my dismay--wide open beaver!

Now, if you know me, I am far from a prude and I am pretty damn confident in my sexuality, but for some reason it urked me. I didn't make a big deal about it and have it ruin our day, but I did ask him why his old timer friend thought that he needed or should I say would enjoy this first thing in the morning? I mean after all--Numnuts has me to look at and although I may not have the DDD mammoth boobs, I have my assets.

So, ladies, does your man receive these type of morning jumpstarts and are you offended by it? Do you feel it is disrespectful of the sender to assume your man NEEDS to be on the list of ones who might enjoy such visuals?

Gentlemen: Before you hit me with "boys will be boys" at what point (age) do boys stop being boys and become gentle-men? My main response to Numnuts was: Ok honey, how about I put together a slide show of well endowed, firm assed, big shouldered, 6'2 men and send it out to all of my female counterparts? Would you like that dear?

He responded with a simple--No. Then he reminded me that it was sent to him and that he was not the initiator. My money says that if it were not intercepted he would have become the initiator and passed it on to some other dumb ass man friend. Let's not forget the quick defensive comment, "Why are you reading my stuff anyway?" I said, I was horny and looking for some porn, he had no response, of course."

For the record: The man-boy that sent it originally is almost 60, overweight, balding, divorced, and can't find a piece of ass to save his life so therefore justified, but Numnuts has me to fondle at will so where of where is the correlation?

"Your Space" is Creepy

I have never been one to reject an open forum for communication, but what purpose does "myspace" have in our crippling society?

Here is my opinion on adults who relish in their myspace page. People grow the f*** up! Ok, Ok, maybe that was harsh, but damn sparkles and techno and your how old? Let's start with the basics. One might say, Citizen Sun, you are no better, look at you and your "IF" Crusade. My response before I really humiliate those with a sparkle fetish is: At least the conversations I put out there are in an adult fashion and not to be viewed by children--- Sparkle Barbie!

So, you are 30, maybe 40 something and you spend at least 15-30 minutes a day posting shit about yourself and others so that anyone from anywhere can read about. Ok, fine, you want people to know you are not too old to party. Next, the pictures....come on people, even if you still look ok in the bikini, or those little mid-driff tops, is that something you want potential clients, employers or hell the stalker down the street to see?

It starts with the teeny boopers, like my niece. She claims to be 15--she is 12, she no longer wants to do anything outdoors, she chats back and forth with hundreds of other teeny boopers who post pictures of puppies and sparkles. That is because that is all I allow her to do. Many of her friends have half naked pics of themself, tons of foul language and talk of issues that are way out of their league. Do you know why??? Because they see all of those "adults" on those pages doing the same exact thing and what the hell--it must be ok, Aunt Sunny is doing it. No Aunt Sunny is not! Aunt Sunny is all grown up and does not need to blast half naked, drunken pictures of herself on the www. for the world to know that she has not matured.

Now, the bigger issue...TECHNO AND SPARKLES. This really creeps me out. Pictures of cute and fury animals, top friends in their 20's, myspaces created for 4 and 5 year old children-all done by GROWN women! These mothers even have pics of their little girls in bikinis! WTF is wrong with all of you? Seriously, I get it, you want to retain your youth and exploit your children--nice! Do so in the privacy of your own little twisted world.

When a 13 year old and a 40 year old are sharing the same entertainment and communication tools there is something not right. For the record, my niece is well aware that I monitor her every move and she is fine with it, she also knows that the "grown" women that plaster themselves on there are NOT role models. For those of you who do not set "yourspace" to private--there are small influencial children reading about your big night on your back again--way to go! Some of you even let your children read about your antics! The shame of it.

Ladies, I expect this from our male counterparts (forever adolescents), but not from you. Use the time you spend looking for pictures of fat people farting or a glimmering image stating you are a "Diva" towards something beneficial and influential. Write an article about why our youth is turning into a bunch of morons (your fault by the way) and set an example or create a suggestion of how to help. Myspace, yourspace, waste of space.

Back Again!

My oh my it has been some time....

What can I say, I can be a slack ass once in a blue moon right? But, I have not forgotten my favorite place to rant. Maybe, just maybe, I had nothing to say. WRONG! I became enthralled with finding a "real" job. So yes..this is what I have done. I have now entered the place I swore I would never be--under the thumb of a corporate giant. EEEK! Yes I have succumb to the robotic world of 8-5. Do you believe it?

Actually, it is not that bad and I am not stuffed in a cubicle all day. I am what you call a professional saleswoman, but I don't sell anything, I rent it. For those of you who don't know I took a job with Fox Broadcasting and basically I am to find those in this slumped economy that have enough dough to spend in order to make more dough. So, if anyone needs a marketing tool that has been proven effective for years and has about 50K they would like to dish out give me a call.

So, the other issues at hand that I always enjoy ranting about....I think relationships (male/female) are the biggest drawback to our daily lives. Don't get me wrong, I like the animistic approach to the mating, but I could live without all the rest. I still have my numnuts and yes he is probably one of the better of the herd, but nevertheless a thorn in my side sometimes. Can't live with--can't live without--not sure.

Family: Good to have, hard to hold. It is so difficult managing their lives too. That brother of mine can still throw daggers even from a distance. How do some people live with themselves? I believe every one of us has a family member that thrives off hurting others. The only recourse for this type of individual is to simply dismiss them. When you are one of two children is can be a bitch picking up the slack for the wayward one, but I survive.

Friends: Necessary and needy. Ever really thought about your role with your friends? True friends wear many hats. I like hats and I look pretty good in them too! I do miss the old hey let's just get together and NOT talk about your woes in life. I for one really try not to complain about life to my friends...that is what family is for. Friends are for comfort and relaxation. They are the humorous buffers between responsibility and reality. So my thought of the day on friendship--drop the drama and use the time with your friends for laughter. No one wants to hear your woes all the time--lighten up.

Finally, make time for you. I have never been one to say it is all about me, but it is. If I can't focus on me, then I surely can't focus on you. For those of you that make more than enough time for yourself and not enough for others---step back me, myself and I--your not that important.

Ok kids, have a great day and good to be with you again.

Political Poo-Poo

OK let's just throw this out there......Clinton or Obama? Oh, or that old guy? Can't forget him. Anyway, if you are a Democrat you have been given two choices to potentially lead this screwed up country. I read an article last week that claimed white men are voting for Obama simply because they refuse to have a woman in the White House. Those are the men with very small wood by the way.

Then I read one that said many Democrats will be voting Republican if Obama gets the nomination and they didn't say it, but maybe because he is black? YOU THINK? What a screwed up society! What fucking century is it anyway? So these are the so called liberals? Same goes for the women who only like Hillary because she is a woman (lesbians) and the blacks who only like Obama because he is black...sorry sistas' but you won your battle a long time ago--get over it. Nothing but a bunch of narrow minded idiots who pass there useless mindset on to their children--oh what a bright future and another reason why I don't like children.

Has anyone taken a look at the economy lately? Does it discriminate between gender or race? Hey how about only giving white men and women who marry well all the money! No discrimination there!!! It is the result of a very poorly run Republican administration that has sunk us to our lowest economic level. I don't know about the rest of you, but I haven't been this broke since.....hell I can't even remember when! Oh yeah the day I moved back to Pittsburgh! So fellow Americans--do we like the chick (vagina), the brother (big penis) or the short stubby Republican?

I say down with the old white men---any minority at this point will do. Besides can you really look at McCain's turkey neck for 4 whole years. Call Dr. Brandy and order that bastard a Quick Lift.

It's All About You!

I am so glad to see some of you coming around and joining in. I want to take a minute and let everyone and anyone who may be new to this genre know what I think we need to accomplish here.

When I write something it does not always reflect upon my personal home front. When it does I address it, but honestly there is no need to advise me. What I would like is YOUR experiences and your feelings on the subject, but not addressed towards me and my life. Others need to hear about your perspective.

To put it simply: I always love some good advice, but with this forum it is not to be about me! I want it to be for all of you who may have something to say--an issue on your mind, or simply to shout....Life is Good. Again, since I started posting here several month back the responses tend to be directed towards what Citizen Sun should do.....not what I am looking for. This site is not only for me--I want it to be for all of you. I just jump start it!

I want to spark your thoughts on the subject....also, I would love everyone to tell me what topics they would like to discuss. I will post your comment on the main page and we will take it from there. I do appreciate it when someone gives me feedback, but it needs to be generalized and applied to all parties!

Finally, if you feel that there is some hidden message in my writings that suggest I am referring to you---whomever you may be...maybe the best thing to do is not ask me--ask yourself.

I am grateful to have all of you looking, sometimes lurking, sometimes writing. My Google analytics that is on this site lets me know that somewhere between 15-20 people a day come here----but so few of you write! Why?

So from here on out kids---If I write about stress--address your stress. If I write about sex---address your sex (or lack of) and on and on. There are thousands of things swirling through our heads so let's see what we can spit out! I will be posting some new topics every week so please keep coming back and hey let's throw some humor "up in here!"

Hey ???-I am tagging you so pick something you would like to address. I know you always have something on your mind :)

Gratefully,

Citizen Sun

In My Head.........

So my entire day yesterday was spent trying to complete all of my ridiculous projects--school shit, work shit, home shit, etc. all in one swoop! Let me tell you what I ended up with---a major pain in my frontal lobe. Man.....sometimes the body will send you a message and guess what folks you better listen.

Seriously--I had a pain in my head that would have taken down a large horse. I never get headaches (because I am usually medicated-LOL), but I worked myself up into such a frenzy that I felt as if someone seriously hit me over the head and the son of a bitch lasted for 14 hours.

I climbed on the couch..assumed the "poor me" fetal position and stayed there for the entirety. Was it my body telling me---"Stop you old bitch, or I am gonna take you down." Maybe. So I listened and guess what I got for it----another day of stress. I could not study for my exam, I did not get my claims in that needed done and the house stuff--well some of the laundry got thrown in--I think it is still in there.

I decided while holding my hands to my pulsating head all day is that I either need to really start doing stuff I enjoy (relieve the stress) or find me a very rich man. Problem--solution. Huumm?

So does anyone know a really rich preferably older gentleman that I can swoon? I told Numnuts last night that this is my plan of action. Screw all of this effort--I am taking the low road. If it were only that simple. Maybe 10 years ago and one boob job later I might have had that opportunity, but even then I was trying to fall in love. What an asshole! Should have found one, married him and spawn a demon child and collected my payment! Just kidding. Sorta.

I suppose I will continue to stress myself out, work towards hitting that good one out of the park and occasionally listen when my body says enough. I wish my body could tell me how to make up for the crippling day yesterday. Oh how I envy those who know how to relax.

Have a stress free day people.........

Take a good look.......Not so pretty.

The term selfish: devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.

Know anyone like this? Sure you do.

So what do you think about people in your life who's primary focus is themself? And why do we try and build relationships with this type of individual? It is baffling. I could not for one minute comprehend what it would be like to spend my days absorbed in my own self righteousness. But sadly, this day and age, there are more and more of these people in our everyday society.

No, I am not talking about my numnuts. Yes, he is somewhat self absorbed, but not full on selfish. He cares for others well being, he will give to those less fortunate and he loves his family and friends. Most importantly--he does not lie and cheat to get what he wants..he earns it. I am talking about those who care so much about themself that they latch on to anyone who might GIVE them something more. You know what I mean--those fair weather friends. The ones who are all about you when they are in need (self assurance) and then once you help them pull their head out of their ass---they are on to someone else who they NEED to complete them. They disguise who they are just to get more. Well the jig is up--you are being revealed!

Here's a thought: When that selfish person falls on their face as they will again (Karma) this time--do not bend over and pick them up. You see--the truly self absorbed individual will forever fall and as tough as it may be not to help (because this is who you are) DON'T! Let them learn that they too must support and promote the needs of others. I know--hard to do, but necessary.

Truth of the matter is as follows....the selfish one will finally plateau. They will end up in that place where you know you will never be--alone. I mean really alone. I do not wish this on anyone, but I do think it is time to look deeply at those around you and ask yourself--what has she done for me lately? And then ask again--what have you done for her lately? If it does not equal out or even come close....get rid of her.

I have a long line of loving friends. Most of whom I had for my entire adult life. There is a reason for this. Taking in new people in your life can be dangerous territory. You help them, you trust them and you love them. Then suddenly when it is their opportunity to provide support or admiration for you--they fail. Yes, this does happen from time to time with the seasoned veterans of your life, but they have earned their pass.

So for those of you out there that wake in the morning and only make time to praise yourself--think again. The givers of the world will step over you on judgment day, but lucky for you once inside we will probably do what we do best and reach out that hand to let you in. Earn that extended hand people. Life is in impression and the mark you are making is not attractive.

If you have something good to say that does not involve only you--then call and tell someone today. No one cares about your money, no one cares about your greed, no one cares about your simulated good times---tell us something you have done for another.

Can you?

Never on a Sunday

Ironically, I hate Sundays. Something about them--most of them anyway. I carry with me a huge feeling of emptiness, loss, misdirection and a soft sadness. I wonder what others are feeling today? What are they doing? In the past month I have alienated myself from the few that I have in my life. I am not sure why......something comes over me and I suddenly see them all differently. Not in a bad way--just different.

The vast majority of time people who come to me only speak of the sufferings in their lives. Nothing catastrophic--just miseries. It wears me down...mostly because I too have misery, but want so much to surround myself with positive outlooks--but where are they? Don't get me wrong--I care about their misery, but I can't fix it for them. Maybe that is what bothers me most. I for one do not drown others in my routine aggressions from life mostly because no one but me can make it better. So why bother.

Everybody has an issue. Period.

Where is the humor? What about the just getting together to share a meal these days? Why is everything about what is wrong? It wears me out. Sometimes it can be crippling. When is the last time someone called you and said--hey I am so fucking happy right now I could piss myself!!!! My response would be--just do it, piss yourself it would be hysterical and good for you!!

Do you think the older we get...the lonelier we get? Shouldn't that be the other way around? Through life you build relationships, meet more people and build that network, but do we? If I think back 8 years ago--I was never alone. NEVER. What has happened to us all wanting to be together. Work? Lack of time? Selfishness...maybe.

Some of you have that network I speak of---so, hold onto it and don't hurt it or take it for granted and please, please, please, make them laugh. Call someone today and tell them a knock-knock joke or something so simple. Then when they laugh at how stupid it was take a deep breath and swallow your need to tell them what is wrong with you today and instead make them laugh again.

My quote: "I give and give and give until I can't TAKE it any more."

My Box or Yours?

Let's see...where do I begin? It has been some time since I produced yet another, rip, roar, rant so I suppose you can say--I have been idle. All in all things have been pretty--progressive.

The home front while still in existence is exactly the same as it has been for the past 2 years--we exist. I have been on somewhat of a roller coaster ride suddenly feeling as if I should know exactly what all of my next moves are to be--and now! Holding pattern making me crazy. As many of you know I took a leap at checking out the corporate world (as a nobody) only to last a mere few weeks--which really should be no surprise if you know me at all.

I do not understand how people can spend years getting up every morning, going to the same building that they do not own, working in a space loaned to them by someone who has full control of their creative juices and sadly never getting to explore what they love and do best. I met a whole bunch of them at the firm. It was kinda sad. A few of them were genuises (web guys) who only stay there for the health insurance (they have kids).

My short stint as a nobody at a LARGE advertising agency was yet again a reminder that I must stand behind my belief in me and my abilities and follow my passion for taking risks and building my own empire. Thing is...it doesn't have to be a massive empire--just my empire.

Why does work have to be precisely that: Exertion or effort directed to produce or accomplish something; labor. Produce what? Accomplish what? The salary that has met its potential.

Ewwww--that sounds horrible. Why aren't we all entrepreneurs? What does it take to be just that......I know! It takes throwing away all of the ideas that society puts in our heads about following that labor force mentality. Personally, I would rather have a lot less then spend my days absorbed in work that does not stimulate my mind or make me feel good about myself. I am not suggesting that all people go to that "labor box" and simply plug away for nothing, but I am starting to think that most people do. Then, you plug, stress, start to own a few things (society says you should) then you can never leave that "labor box" because if you do----all of those "things" will be jeopardized. Can't lose your things ya'll!

I say, "Who needs all of those things?" That mad rush to buy a house! For what? To own something? There are a millions of things that you can own, but that house now guarantees that you MUST go to that "labor box" and if you ever thought about being an entrepreneur...you better think again. Anyone heard about those thousands of foreclosures? Those poor people have no house, but I bet they have that great "labor box."

I always love to ask people what are you good at. Ask yourself today and them write it down. I mean really good at.......then write it down. Are you doing that today? Is it possible for you to do that tomorrow? Are you happy doing what pays for that house? For the record: I do know some that do enjoy earning their keep--but they also do what they love.

My wheels have been spinning and all of you may soon be invited to explore the launch of "The Cohort Inc." details to come, but with the collaboration of a few great minds---the next phase of take that risk Sunday may soon appear. Of course I will be asking for all of your support!

My next blog is to tell everyone how I have decided on my 40th b-day to hit the sperm bank (or some hot 20 year old) and pray for a son. If I can't seem to teach the ones around me how to be manly...I will have to produce my own. See there's that damn entrepreneurial mindset again!

http://www.thecohortinc.com/ coming soon to a business near you. I want to fight for all of the risk takers in the world!

Someone Call the Guiness Book of Records.........

Sound the alarms! Call the press! Today is a milestone in my life! It is my 4 year anniversay to Numnuts.....4 years! I can't even believe it! This makes the record books as Citizen Sun's longest running relationship---EVER! Since I am soon to be a fabulous 37, it has me doing some thinking about how this has been my longest relationship and why?

I started thinking about my past slew of men (and there have been a few) and I had to question why did Darren make it so long while the others had failed? Then all at once it hit me.....it has everything to do with my age! There is no way in hell I would have made it this long with my sweethearts workaholic mentality if I were younger. So, I suppose, I am what I dispise.......an aging woman who has settled. YIKES!!!! EEWWW! HELP!!! Just kidding, it is ok. Truth is...I haven't married so therefore I haven't really settled--I call it SITTING IDOL....vrooom, vrooom!

Here's the kicker--instead of grabbing my little Numnuts and doing the traditional woman thing--by saying, "It has been 4 years Darren, isn't it time you step up to the plate?" I am leaving town today on a very exciting business trip and while planning that I realized, hey, I got it pretty good! Numnuts doesn't cause me any grief for my last minute out of town jaunts, he works 12 hours or more a day and only needs me for face to face interaction from 9pm-11pm, he does not question my devotion or committment--EVER-- and all and all.....I do as I please.

My point with all of this is: Maybe the time spent with Numnuts was a major growing spurt and also a time that proved that I don't need a man for my happiness! I always knew that one, but I have learned how to manage both ends of the spectrum. So to Numnuts--I say thank you. I can't gaurantee another 4, but I can say that he has been honest, let me grow on my own and throughout the time I learned so much about myself.

For those of you who do not know my Numnuts--as you can imagine, I can be quite the task when warranted...so I think he deserves some credit. Overall, he had the best of care and devotion and for the most part deserved it.....but this party ain't over yet! I feel a huge new sense of empowerment today and since I finally made history for myself---it may be time to shake things up a little!

I told my sweetheart a couple of months ago that everything about 2008 is new and exciting for me--some big milestones are happening. Usually, I change everything in my life on a 3 year rotation....can't wait to see what happens now that I have surpassed my 3 year crunch. Hooray!

Ok...hope everyone is well and feel free to send me congrats on my big achievement! If you know me and my history---you will know that this is a very big deal! God bless Numnuts for breaking the record!

CS

Eve Should Have Skipped the Rib..........

What in God's name has happened to our men? That is my opening statement with my closing to follow.

Before I even start, if this offends you or you want to create some banter about it---it probably does apply to you. For those of you men (who I know are reading this) that have a problem with what I have to say--bring it on man, bring it on!

Since when did men become such pussies? Yes, I said it--they have no balls and no idea what a woman needs---PERIOD! And it is not just poor little Numnuts, it is the vast majority of men I come across anymore. What the fuck happened to fighting for the woman you want? What about stepping up to the plate and acting like the animal you are? You men talk about us boo-hooin, bitching all the time, not given up the "goods" when the truth of the matter is---NONE OF YOU CAN FUCKING PRODUCE!

I am not going to give examples: Ladies you all know what I am talking about. The big talk game. I gonna do this, I can do that, I rule the fucking universe---you don't rule shit! I have never thought in a million years I would run into a society of men that have no fucking idea what it is to be a man....to a woman. What did your mother's do to you? I should kick her ass!

Spoiled, weak, mindless, heartless pussies. And I mean it. Numnuts really isn't a big part of this--believe it or not. It is the rest of you who have the chance to be better than Numnuts and fucking blow it in record speed. Wimps. You men wouldn't last a fucking afternoon without us picking up the disasters of your stupidity. Shame on you for losing the backbones your fathers gave you. They were real men.

Ladies if he ain't producing and crying like a little bitch or talks even remotely wrong to you--get rid of him now before you get stuck there thinking he is gonna grow some balls. He won't, but maybe, just maybe in some cave in the middle of nowhere some guy is shacked up--who hasn't been tainted by society, his mother, or a psycho ex fucking wife--just waiting for you. I can live just fine in a cave with a real man.

Now have a great day folks............love yourself.

This will probably bore most of you, but what the hell. I have a solution for anyone who may get a spare hour, have some anxiety, come home and be disgusted by the days events, view the world as a slow progression as the armpit of the world, or just plain want to feel good........

You must turn on TCM (Turner Classic Movies). I for one am not much of a T.V. rat, so trust me when I tell you this is worth a look. It never fails---early morning, late night, Sunday afternoon, rainy Monday, this channel will uplift your spirit and remind you of how exceptional the world used to be.

This morning I woke at 4:34A.M. and decided to stay there for a few extra minutes. Instead of the misery of the morning news (murder, corruption, finance woes, those disgusting presidential elects) I would enjoy my favorite click to good ole TCM. I really lucked out!

This morning a great classic titled "Red-Headed Woman" was on and I was immediately enthralled. Produced in 1932, starring Jean Harlow and Chester Morris--is a perfect addition to your morning delight. Oh the beauty of those people and those days. I would have killed to live in the that era! The woman are smart, sassy, sexy, and RESPECTED. Everyone is dressed, the men are shaved and obviously smell good (I love their suits and hats), the women have places to wear a fabulously tailored dress (they have gorgeous curves), the drama is healthy and enlightening--not grossly violent or sexually fowl, their grammar is perfect and they REEK of class and seduction.......everyone. Let's not forget the music--you can actually feel the pleasantries of the notes.

Could you even imagine such a beautifully simplistic way of life? I can. Thanks Ted Turner for showing me at any hour of the day what I missed and how fucked up we are now. Come on....women respected? Watch an old movie people.

Cheers.

The Power of One.......

For the record: I do not think this picture is funny, I think it is sad and displays the twisted anger of those dealing with this loss.

Why do we put the fate of our own happiness in the hands of another? Everyone I know does this. EVERYONE! So, before I get deep into this--and the skeptics "come a runnin"...every person I have ever met has allowed another person to cause them severe misery at one point in time.

Why do we let this happen? Is it that love thing? Is it that we don't love ourselves enough? Aren't there more important things we could be doing with our time than being absorbed in emotions caused by another human being?

Here is what I think: We are taught to establish relationships, we are groomed to make them meaningful and beneficial to continue the procreation of the human race. Problem is...we have to pick one person. How in the world is one person supposed to meet all our desired needs? It is impossible so we make due with what we have and go on.

We pick a person, (sometimes abruptly) and we try and try to make a wholesome and loving environment usually sacrificing many of the joys of life, but we try. Now what happens when that someone decides they don't want us anymore or we don't want them? You have just spent years accepting the relationship, building a future and suddenly you are left with nothing. According to many in this situation--the nothing they feel is ridiculously overwhelming and sometimes intolerable. So what are they to do?

A very good friend of mine has had his entire world overturned thanks to the unwarranted decision of his wife of 20-some years to leave him. According to him--she would not accept his attempt to provide more for his family when he had to start working 100 hours a week. This man who is insanely kind and loving is now shattered because she so selfishly decided not to accept his work ethic.

I being someone who has lived with a workaholic for several years understand her dismay--slightly, but I could not imagine destroying someone just because they are making an attempt at a better life for me and our family. This is all that he has done. The first 20 years this guy was home for dinner, always there for the kids, pampered his wife and now he is left to pick up the pieces that she tore apart and it is very trying.

My friend is just one of many whose world is upside down because of another. How can one person be so powerful? How long will it take for this great guy to heal those dagger wounds? Why is so much precious time and energy taken from him all because of another human beings ability to be so wretched? It is an age old mystery.......

My point with all of this is: If we love ourselves more than we love another, will it help us when the relationship fails? How is it possible for some to just walk away, rip the life out of another and go on? I for one have always been pretty good about moving on--it has come with age and experience. I have also found a tremendous love of thyself. I wasn't looking for it, time spent alone will do that to you, but I am glad I found it.

So the discussion here today folks is--what can we do to protect ourselves from the wrath of another. If we lose someone of are forced to release someone, what is the best way for a quicker recovery? If you are a heartless freak, then this one is not for you. I know a lot of people going through divorce and I have to tell you---it is frightening. The anger and hurt is almost inhuman. Maybe we should just spare ourselves the potential dangers and not expect anyone to fulfill us.....but what would we have then? It is just so confusing.

Should we all just become emotionless zombies? Oh and for those are thinking...just find someone else--that migth work for some, but I doubt it is the best answer. My suggestion to my friend is for him to turn that hurt for her into admiration of himself.

Any thoughts?

Moral Martha is a Drag.........

When we decide upon our choice of mates--how do we really know that this one is the right one? What if you venture off on a weekend business trip and just happen to sit next to someone who actually finds you as interesting as you really are? What if this person has all of the elements you have described in your head a million times as your perfect mate? What if they are available and you are not?

I bet this happens all the time. But how many people go home and think, "Boy, I would love to have someone like that!" I bet that happens all the time. What if they have that thought and then look over and find their chosen one is the exact opposite as this fancy new stranger? I know what they do.....they sit there and stay miserable to uphold their morality.

Here is what I say to that: Fuck morality. Besides the tales of heaven and hell, what has morality ever done for anyone other than really give you a good conscience? Did you ever get an award for your good morality? Did all your friends and family stop by with a "cake and presents" the day you decided to NOT accept a drink from a hot guy across the bar? Did you get a promotion and corner office because you live your life as "Moral Martha?" NO.

Oh and for those who always think I am referring to myself with this one--your right! Anyway, here is the meanings of morality:

1. conformity to the rules of right conduct; moral or virtuous conduct.

2. moral quality or character.

3. virtue in sexual matters; chastity.

4. a doctrine or system of morals.

5. moral instruction; a moral lesson, precept, discourse, or utterance.

We immediately need to remove #3. And for #4, I want to know who wrote the doctrine and why do I have to live by a system? For #5, who's the instructor and what do they know.

Oh I bet you christian people are boiling about now! How dare she...the morality she speaks of was spoken by Christ. Right? I feel ya, but Christ lived a very, very, long time ago and let's face it things have changed. I haven't seen a camel rolling through the grounds in awhile....so maybe we need to update our "new and improved" list of what is and is not morally acceptable.

For the record: I am not only referring to morality as per relationships--we are plagued with its restraints in everything we do. My definition of morality is one word: Guilt.

We feel guilty for eating wrong, sleeping too much, talking too loud, looking too good, have big money, having no money, I have even felt guilty for giving too much. I assure you in my mind this all goes hand-in-hand. I am going to have to get back to this subject later, but if your out there and you want to beat me up about the Christ thing, or you want to tell me the world would be utter caios if we dropped a bit of the morality then please.......I would love to hear from you. Our woes in the world have nothing to do with morality--it comes from greed. Entire new subject for later.

Again for those of you who think my writings display some hidden message of misery--pick up the phone and call me. You will see I am a very happy person with a wicked mind that likes to rant--so don't be so dramatic!

Citizen Martha

Is it Really Easier? No, it Sucks.

Hello sweets. That is my newest greeting to those I care for. Anyway, lately I have found myself discussing and of course listening to a various individuals talking about their "committed" relationships. What I have discovered is no secret, but to hear it over and over again and quite honestly relate to it in some sense is sad and should be addressed.

My "research" has shown that more than 85% of women who are in a committed relationship for more than 3 years claim to feel trapped in their supposed bliss because they CAN'T AFFORD TO LEAVE! YIKES!!!!! I swear to God this has been the response of almost everyone woman I come across. It send chills up my spine when I think about this (as I do of course) over and over. So let's explore exactly what that means.

Let's say her name is Sandy. She is 32, beautiful, has two little ones (also beautiful) and her other half, Paul is the primary bread winner. Now Sandy has remained a great companion, mother, home maker, and even put a massive attempt into obtaining her education and has dreams of becoming a marketing mega star! Here's the problem: Paul is an ass. He treats Sandy like a child and not like an equal. He clearly enforces that she is the lesser of the two because she is not providing the household income and has even tossed poor Sandy and the babes to the curb a few times. Tell me what Sandy is to do?

My immediate response to Sandy is to bury that SOB, but in reality she has no where to go, no money to get there, and ultimately feels like a failure breaking apart her family. So, she stays, takes his verbal abuse and will most likely spend the rest of her life wishing she were somewhere else. The only other possibility is when Sandy finishes school, she will get a job in her desired career path and be able to tell jackass Paul to go fuck himself. But do you know how hard that will be with two kids in tow? I couldn't even imagine.

Next case: Gina. She and her man Tony have been together for 4 years. They had planned early on to work together to make a future and all was heavenly bliss for the first 2 years. Tony is a workaholic, never even attempts to spend any time with Gina, nor does he appreciate her for the never ending love and care that she displays for him on a daily basis. So what's the problem? Gina has been busting her ass to achieve a new career goal for the past 4 years. When she met Tony she had just recovered from falling flat on her face after a 10 year run of independent success and failure. OK still no big deal, but here it comes.......although Tony is not a bad guy per say, he has never taken any interest in her abilities, potential, dreams or any of her wants and needs. He has basically pulled her in and left her to spend 7 days a week with no one. For the record: Tony does not share in his success with her--other than paying the majority of the household bills. She fends for herself, but has the ease of not paying the mortgage. Her name is not on the house so she refuses to pay rent to him. Tony throws that one in her face all the time.

Why you might ask? Because Tony is again the primary bread winner. His income surpasses hers and he is well aware that if Gina leaves him because of her loneliness she will struggle economically and her plans that she has been working on for their future may crumble because she will have to probably work 2-3 jobs to remain in the lifestyle she is accustomed to. OK, some might say, "If she is that unhappy then she should just leave and so what if she has to live in a little rinky-dink apartment and work 10 jobs." After 4 years of truly standing beside her man, making his life as comfortable and pleasant as possible..why should she have to struggle and give up her dreams just because he is a spoiled baby? So she sits and she waits. She is waiting for one of two things: Either Tony is going to wake up one day and realize what a prize he really has (in reality we all now this is not going to happen) or Gina is finally going to get what she is working towards and then be torn as to whether she CAN leave him or not.

You might be saying--why wouldn't she leave him if she is that unhappy? Here is her answer: The guilt is overbearing and although Tony could care less about her happiness, she knows he is not a bad guy. She also is one of those women who is prone to putting every one's happiness before her own. She thinks if and when she decides she can't stand to be alone anymore she will hurt workaholic Tony and that makes her feel sorry. So what do you think Gina should do?

With all that being said the truth of both stories and of the many others I have encountered the bottom line is this: most of the women who are experiencing this type of discomfort really had all intentions of loving their selected mate until death do you part. Now it seems that these beauties are living each day wondering, when and if. Not a good way to spend the day. Maybe, just maybe the Tony's and Paul's of the world will just stop and realize that eventually the ones they hold under the thumb can never be replaced and hopefully for all involved it won't be too late.

Car Shopping with my Favorite Person.....Dad!

This is his next one...on me!

Good morning friends! I hope everyone is back in action, hangovers from the New Year resolved and ready to conquer the guaranteed challenges that await us. I for one am headed out this morning to finalize yet another would be hurdle that comes with helping my parents.

I had the honor of taking my father (who I love more than anyone on this planet) out car shopping on Monday afternoon. Oh the baby boomers.........so regimented and so oblivious to the technologies and cruelty of the world. Dad asked me to help him go and buy a new car. What? A father asks his daughter to go and negotiate for him? Holy shit---women can't buy cars! Well according to my father he would have no one else go with him but little old me. He also told me about a 1000 times that he does not know what he would do without me. Awwww. To me that meant, hey Sunday don't even try and move away again--you will break your father's heart! Talk about pressure.

At first I thought, "Man, I always get stuck doing the hard stuff!" If you knew my handsome daddy-0, you would know that my old man thinks cars still cost 10K. So, taking him out in hopes of having him sign his name to a few new years of debt is a challenge of its own. We left mom behind because she is much worse with the idea that things really do cost a whole hell of a lot more than they did in 1982.

So my point with all of this is: What a blessing it is that I can help my parents. What an honor it is to have them trust me and only me to make sure they do the right things. What a shame it is that I have an older brother who can only do for himself. My dad (who is not 100% healthy) proceeds to tell me the entire day that this will be the last car he buys. Will it be the last car he ever buys? Yes it will.

I can rest assured knowing that I can and will always be ready, willing, and able to assist him and have earned his confidence and respect. It is a pretty huge deal to me. I suppose the idea of remaining "daddy's little girl" goes out the window when you become the needed "adult" child. I think it is a privilege and wanted to share it with everyone.

Another little secret to share: What my father doesn't know is that he is right, this will be the last car "HE" ever buys for himself. The next one has 2 doors, a V-8 engine and a sticker price that would currently give him a heart attack. But he won't be signing his name, he will be handed the keys and told by me..."Thanks dad, sorry it took so long, but go and put the pedal to the medal and try not to get too many tickets! (He loves to speed!) Well off to the dealership to make my old man proud.

Rise and Shine...It's a New Year--2008!

A quick note thanking all my fabulous "IF Crusader's" for stopping by last night to take our picture...I would say it turned out pretty good! Nice job taking the pic Jimmy!

Alas, 2008! I have been waiting for this one since the minute I arrived after 12 years "head in hands" at my parents door in 2004....soon to say, "MISSION COMPLETE, NEXT QUEST CAPTAIN SUNDAY!"

I had to throw that out there and if you know me you know what the hell I am talking about--but besides my obvious welcoming of the New Year I suppose I should do what most do and spent a moment reflecting. So....what did I do in 2007 that I should have done differently and how will I learn from my "so called" inadequacies? Don't you love that we are supposed to do this shit! I wonder who made that up? Anyway here is what I think:

• I should have had a whole lot more fun.


• I should have got a better handle on my anxiety and used it to my advantage.


• I should have got out of this house more instead of using it as such a comfort zone.


• I should have spent more time helping others--I do a lot of that, but there is always room for more.


• I should have displayed my good looks and vast wit in a greater societal circle.


• I should have saved more than I spent.


• I should have gotten at least one of these millions of swirling thoughts in my head published...that was just laziness.


• I should have picked my Sunday NFL lineup better. Very bad year....


• I should have told Numnuts how much I really love him a little more and also told him what a pain in the ass he can be a few more times.


• I should have had more sex.

That is the end of woulda, coulda, shoulda. I have learned to live my life with as few regrets as possible--I don't think it is healthy to put ourselves down about what we may have done wrong. It is not as if I am going to completely change everything about me just because I have to buy a new calendar!

I for one feel as if the date 01/01/2008 is a reminder of how time is passing and not so much of what is new. I am excited about a few scheduled events this year and feel confident that my holding pattern that I previously spoke of will have slight reduction in time, but besides all of that and the few ideas posted above--all is just as good as it has ever been!

For the record: Once in awhile I get an email from a friend or two who thinks that my writing on here is displaying some hidden message of my unhappiness. My whole hearted response to that is.....obviously we never talk or maybe we just email, because if you spent any time with me (personally) you would know that I am one of the most pleasant people around and truly take each day as a gift. I simply LOVE ranting once in awhile and instead of sitting around like so many do and saying, "Oh poor me" I tap the keys and say whatever the hell I feel like spitting out. No hidden misery and lots of love!

So, may I wish you all a very humble passing of the old year and I hope you find a nice calendar! And please, let's spare the resolution crap! I always hated that one. How about a few wish I woulda's? Then we can try and make sure we help each other do those things this year!