Why Hillary Clinton Won't Win............

OK, I have no idea if Hillary Clinton will be our next president or not, but what I do know is we (women) are quite often our biggest enemy. Let me explain.

Why are some women so cynical when it comes to another woman's success? Being that women have been fighting for their equality since the stone age--shouldn't we support each other when something great happens?

Yesterday I overheard some women discussing a past coworker who has moved on to bigger and better things. Instead of using that situation to aspire towards their own success, they spent about 30 minutes coming up with reasons why she didn't deserve the job. It was pathetic. I on the other hand thought, "Good for her and then the positive spin jumped in and I thought--hey if she can do it, so can I."

We are the cause of our own repression (not all of us, but many). Why wouldn't we support a woman when she betters herself and her situation? Is it jealousy? Why not stand behind her and open some doors for yourself? When the women congregate and decide that one of their own is not worthy of the job--doesn't this send a message to the white bread men who are still running the show? If you have ever worked in a company that is a nesting place for females...you know what I am talking about.

If I meet a woman who is successful and worked her way up...I immediately want to know her. I am not threatened by her...I want to learn from her. Number one rule of success: If you want to be successful you MUST surround yourself with successful people. If you spend your days standing around a bunch of complaining women/men who openly flaunt their weaknesses by cowardly disgracing others---then you deserve to be where you are and get comfortable because that is where you will remain.

If you know someone who has recently acquired a new job or promotion---go and give them a big old pat on the back because they deserve it and are probably a little rattled trying to deal with it all. You never know how that 3 seconds of support might just open a window for you to slither in.........WE MUST SUPPORT ONE ANOTHER LADIES!

Any thoughts?

Taking in Strays.........

You either invite them in or you close the door and worry about them until you are blue in the face. This is my experience with strays. So let's play a game--am I talking about the black cat who just happened to show up at my house the week of Halloween? Or am I talking about the people that come into my life? Here's the answer---BOTH. Some of us are magnets for the lost and needy. I am one of those magnets.

I can't say that I will always let the cat in, but if I meet a slightly wayward person, I feel it is my duty to listen to them. For example: A younger fella that works part time with numnuts came by yesterday. Within minutes I found myself prowling through his mind to find out which direction this young lad is heading with his future. As I expected, he was fumbling daily with what he wants to be when he grows up. So what do you think happened next?

I spent 2 hours discussing his potential and giving him a good old kick of confidence. He left with some serious "pep" in his step and within an hour sent me his resume and some very kinds words of how I made his day. Somehow, they find me. My point with all of this---I suppose it is not so bad to be the one that can motivate the troops, but when the battle gets too much to fight alone---will the soldiers be standing next to you ready to brawl? Let's hope so.

If you have someone in your life that takes any amount of time to support you in your constant quest to find yourself---make sure to pay it forward. If everyone could start their morning as this young lad did, think of all the great accomplishments there would be in a day.

I think we all need a morning motivator.....are you that person or have you recently taken your time to enhance the life of another? If so--how did it go?

I am Horribly Addicted....

Yesterday afternoon my beloved laptop crashed. I have not stopped trying to fix it since and I am completely and utterly lost and having severe withdrawals. Sweats, shaking, mood swings, the whole nine yards. As I sit in Numuts office uncomfortably using his link to the outerworld I realized something.....I am an addict.

Harsh words, harsh reality. I think I need some help. OK, joking, but MY GOD what did we do without these things? Did I really talk to people? Eeewww-who in the hell would want to do that all the time. Hence the problem with our society. Cowardly communication hidden behind a 17" monitor..with the exception of this fabulous blog!

Well, if I don't get my addiction up and running by tomorrow I am either going to seriously hurt someone or no one is getting any Xmas presents from me. Best Buy here I come! I enjoy my addiction and truely enjoy all of you who are my enablers.....please keep it coming and feel free to throw some of your favorite topics out there and I will post them. xoxo

Why I get Tired of Doing the Right Thing......

The older I get, I realize that you can be a complete piece of shit and people are going to be good to you. You can be an "ark angel" and people are going to stomp all over you. Not all the time, but it seems the worse you are anymore--the better you get treated. I don't understand it. My point--you can do absolutely nothing and be treated like a superstar. For people like me, who genuinely like helping others, but rarely get any recognition for it---this has become somewhat of a battle.

After my tremendous downfall in 2002, I realized that when the going gets tough...the help disappears. So I decided to do the same---disappear. I made a dramatic change, moved back up North and decided to focus on living as clean and proper as possible (without over doing it of course). Having been at that for almost 5 years, I have realized that it didn't make a damn bit of difference and you could be the next freaking Messiah and people would still run all over you.

If you are a natural born giver (like myself), imagine how much less stress you would have if you just stopped. No more listening every time the phone rings to someone complaining, no more loans or cash donations (since I never get the money back), forget about all the favors and putting your life on hold for others..........just stop doing all of it!!!!!

I would like to learn how to do that. I am not suggesting that we ALL become selfish little trolls, but maybe those who always put others first should just stop for awhile. Like a union strike without the picket signs. I wonder what those around us who expect this added care would do? Maybe, just maybe, they would turn the tables and start taking care of us?

Any thoughts or should I say advice on how to be less giving? I know--horrible suggestion on a Sunday morning, but I hate Sundays.

So Who's Maturbating These Days? Anyone?

OK, a very dear male friend of mine was invited to read and respond to our little platform here. After telling me he enjoyed the content (with the exception of the 2-inch Charlie insert--sounds personal) suggested some material for us to cover. So, I ask you my dear sex kittens to please elaborate and do it with your ever so explicit style....

My favorite time of the day to masturbate is mid afternoon. It generally occurs after sitting on my pretty little ass clicking away all morning and suddenly, out of nowhere---BAM! The urge hits me. To my dismay-Numnuts is at work and since he is the only one I am ALLOWED to let help me with my dilemma--her comes the tub! How on earth would a girl live without her tub? Rub a dub dub....if there were only three men in it.

Anyway, you all know it---it is really easy to do. Hand held, streamline, pulsator, whatever. Basically I am looking at 3 to 4 minutes, eyes closed, good graphics......problem/solution. But I have a confession to make....get ready....it is really sad....here it comes...."I am running out of f--king material. " Yes, I said it! I have used up all of the good stuff in my head so many times--I am out. What a shame--don't you agree? It is bad enough I am trying like hell to not fall prey to the "sheisgonnacheatonyou" disease--now I have to work harder for the ooohhh-aahhh -ooohh-I-love-me session.

And you?

Another Reason I Don't Want to be a Mother.....

As you all know--"I do not want children." One of these days I will take the time and provide 6 billion reasons why. Those of you who are mothers..good for you, but here is just one more reason why I will never sporn a designer purse snatcher---

I never want to say something so worthless as: "You have to love him--he's your brother!" Only a mother would say something so pathetic. I see that as: Because he is my brother is even more reason why I don't have to pretend to like him. Wouldn't want to be rude to strangers.

OK, sounds harsh but damn--what is it with mothers and their sons? Mothers are the reason we have f'd-up husbands and boyfriends. My mother (who I do like) would defend my brother if he were standing there holding the bag, in the bank, with a ski mask, yelling give me your f---ing money bitches! She would say it wasn't him. I swear.

I think this mother-son thing is something we really need to explore. If you are a mother with a son and you still have a chance at making him someone we do not complain about on a daily basis---please, please, please for the sake of the little perkies of the world--quit defending him and slap him upside his head.

*For the record, I do love my brother, but from a distance. He like so many other men I know screw up, have momma coddle them and then before you know it some other stupid woman is catering to his madness. Just pisses me off.

I am Woman Hear Me----Snore!

What happened to the enthusiatsic, free-spirited, mini skirt wearing, high heeled, I am gonna get laid tonight vixens that we used to be? And don't try and say that you never were this woman because if you weren't then you wouldn't be on this site.

Did someone knock on my door and tell me, "Hey Sun, just wanted to let you know that it is no longer acceptible for you to visually and mentally express yourself as a fierce sexual being." I don't recall that happening, nor do I remember the last time I put on a hot little number and thought, "I am going to turn some heads tonight."

I know the first response to this will be--because we are a bit older now. Who the hell made up that rule? I will tell you---our men and the other woman who are not secure enough in their own relationships to sit next to us in a bar when we are feeling our finest. And shame on me for complying with their inadequecies. I am not suggesting we all dress like two-bit-tramps, but damn ladies, if you got it going on (which you do) why in the hell DON'T WE FLAUNT IT?

I know that every one of you right now is saying: Oh she's crazy, my cellulite is horrible, I am too fat to do that, where am I suppossed to go all dressed up? Answer: I didn't say strut around in your bikini, we can buy clothes that fit right, and go out by yourself if you have to. I am the queen of that one.

Last week I took myself to NY. I spent three days searching for some great designer bargains and looking for...well--me.

What I found was a great Prada purse, some fab boots and small slice of me. The part I speak of that has been rediscovered is: I am and want to be sexy. I thank the beautiful ladies of NY for that. Everywhere I went there were hundreds of confident, beautifully clad women walking around in their thigh-high boots and leggin (all shapes and sizes). Every one of them looked stunning....and no they weren't all fashion models. Many were woman with strollers or simply walking to get their morning fix of Starbucks.

My point with all of this: "It is healthy to feel beautiful." Just because Numnuts doesn't notice anymore--it doesn't mean I don't have to notice anymore. Any thoughts?

If you have a few minutes for a laugh click on this link. She calls herself Charlene. Mindless humor has it's purpose......
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qebuo12efos

I Admit it: I Slept With a Married Man and Liked It!

Oh no---the forbidden fruit. In advance--let me state this clearly for my married gal pals and those who are judgemental.........

"I do not condone adultery and have not gone out of my way to be a part of someone else's adulteress attempts, but let's be realistic shit happens." sb

YES it happened...and YES I knew about it...YES it was exciting...would I recommend it....NO! Would I do it again...I might pretend for the thrill of it, but he would have to be exceptional.

I was quite a bit younger and "hormones a racin" and he was more than readily available. Let's face it, 36 years and happily not married--my numbers are up there and of course there are going to be at least one or two married ones in my bookworthy sexual experiences.

Anyone feel like fessing up?

My how the tables have turned.....

In the course of one full day (yesterday), I had three different women tell me that their husbands/boyfriends never want to have sex. Two of the three were married and these remarkable women (ages range from 30-54), all share the same disease--as I like to call it. They are committed to men who are either too tired, too grumpy, or just too damn stupid to take a few minutes and satisfy their women. I'll name it---"Sheisgonnacheatonyou" disease.

You might wonder how on earth I could have three different conversations like this in one day, but somehow--it finds me. Nevertheless, I being one who recently shares in their dreaded symptoms, can not believe what I am hearing and lately experiencing. For the record each of these women are full on committed to their relationships, but have considered a lover........the clock is ticking. Yes, everyone knows it is wrong, but this is the reality.

My father tells a story about his grandfather that is just charming. "Pops" as they called him was 69 when he had his last child. His beloved, some 20 years his junior had to beat him with a broom almost daily to keep him off her--seriously. Pops died at the age of 82 with a huge shit eating grin on his face. This was a happy man.

Has society turned our men into women? I have never been a fan of the woman who holds back sex from her man out of cruelty or says she is too tired all the time, but I am disgraced that these so-called men are denying their beautiful women their much needed romp! I have known some great male counterparts who have found comfort in another woman because of the lack of affections at home. I never condoned their actions, but sadly, I am starting to understand.

Gentlemen.....if you are reading this, drop what you are doing, go and find your mate, DO NOT SAY A WORD, and use what the good lord gave you. Beware of the day she stops asking you for it. Odds are--she has found a cure for this horrific new age disease.

OH MY GOD! I am his mother...........

I had a huge epiphany this morning! I am my man's mother.......please God help me.

Let me explain. Numnuts works likes there is no tomorrow. So, being the loving, good-natured "IF" woman I am, I make sure that he is well catered to. He does not ever want for food, clean clothing, cleanliness, warmth, I fix his boo-boo's, listen when he is angry, help him with his homework and pretty much take care of anything that goes wrong with him.

"I am his new mother"............yuck! I have no idea how that happened, but I do know that it may be the cause of our "lack" of excitement in the bedroom, or any other room for that matter. Oh, I guess I hadn't mentioned that yet. Yes, I of all people have fallen prey to the same old sex syndrome. Can you blame him? Who besides Freud wants to sleep with their mother? What have I done!!!!!!!!

Several years ago, I had a great conversation with my dear friend Vicky (sitting poolside at her million dollar condo-provided by her husband Tom) and mildly induced by a few glasses of wine among other things--proceeded to tell me in a slow, blue-blooded, southern draw......

"Girrrrl, I don't clean, I don't cook, no laundry, no grocery shoppin......nada damn thing for em!" Since I knew Vic and knew this statement to be 100% true I asked her simply, "How do you get away with it?" Vic, with a great mid-afternoon slur said, "He has one of two choices--either I do all that shit like his momma used to and never fuck em, or I fuck em. Plain and simple." She now lives in a 3 million dollar pad on Bald Head Island......still doesn't cook.

If I had only listened to Ms. Vicky!

*Had to use her actual words--you had to get the full effect.

HORMONAL HELL--- Just Rip it all out Doc!

As usual, I woke up this morning at the crack of ole dawn, but to my dismay--I started crying. Me?--crying at 5:47 AM!! It lasted for a good hour or so. The person that I live with who used to be called fiance'...most often called boyfriend...sometimes called roommate...mostly just know him as workaholic, took some of the brunt. We see each other for about 10 minutes in the morning and maybe 1 hour in the evening 6-7 days a week. I suppose lucky for him he had to leave for work his normal 12 hour day (by choice--he loves his work)! We will get to him some other time. Big issue: He's a workaholic and I am a horny bitch. The two do not go well together.

OK, so now I am trying to figure out what the hell that was and why? Just to clarify, I am NOT a crying kinda girl. In fact, the last time I cried is when my beloved grandmother died. That has been almost a year. I am gonna throw one out there an blame it on the freaky hormones that we women have so that we can produce those little designer purse snatchers. (hope you get it) kids=less designer purses..........shallow, I know. Anyway.....................

For those of us in the late 30 something crowd whose decision to NOT have babies has taken is mark.....the doctor's should just rip out all of the mechanics that make a morning like this possible. Far as I am concerned--they can leave the part that gives me pleasure--just the opening will do and trash the rest. I apologize to the mom's of the world for not including you, but you chose to use that function, you get to keep it! Kidding Roxy....I know you are the queen of hormonal hell right now! Truthfully, if they came up with something good--I would let the mom's have it first--they have suffered enough.

But seriously---what the *^#! is going on? All the pills, treatments, therapies and damn technologies in this crazy mixed up world and they can't cure the misery that plagues every woman--HORMONES! Shame on them and if they are men they deserve every once of madness we give them. I actually feel wiped out over what happened this morning. An "IF" woman does have her down time--believe me, but she picks herself up, brushes off and posts a blog about it!

For future conversations--I will name my significant other Numnuts. Stay tuned for his story!

I'm gonna be a superstar!!! What about you?

OK, I never really considered that one, but God knows I have changed my mind so many times on what I want to be when I grow up it is exhausting. Most of the people I know are not doing what they dreamed of.......why is that? Don't we all have the same opportunities starting out? My response to this is NO! When we are children we believe that we can be anything--once we became adults--we are the ones who tell oursleves that we can't.

I come from of family of workers, but not leaders. As much as I love my parents, they never instilled that "you can be anything you want" mentality in me. I discovered that one on my own in the last few years. Quite often I think back about what I have done in the past 20 years and want to punch myself in the face for not realizing my true potential. Ever felt that way? But I probably wouldn't change a thing.

I have realized it is OK to not know exactly what you want to be, but it is not OK to think that you will never be that superstar. At what point are we to throw in the towel and say, "It's too late now!" My answer: Never! Here's the way I see it---I am 36, odds are I will be working at least another 20 years or so....what else would I be doing? If I combine all of the good and bad jobs, experiences, adventures, etc. and evaluate the skills that were acquired with each---I can be masterful at what I really want to do with my life. We too often forget how skilled we really are--because we do these "jobs" that don't let us apply it.

I look at the first part of my job history as the training. Can she communicate? Can she manage? Can she implement and complete a project? Can she get there after partying all night? Sure did and sure can...and so can all of you. Having gone back to school as an adult has been a real eye opener for me. When all is said and done, I will have about $60,000 in new debt, a piece of paper that states I have put my entire life on hold and the ridiculous two letters that are supposed to put me ahead of the game--MA. Truth be said---none of that will really matter when it comes down to the test on whether or not I can perform. That comes directly from me and my desire to succeed. Yes, the education is beneficial......but no, it does not and will not define me. My unique set of qualifications and past jobs will set the stage. It's learning how to apply them to what you love.

So what do I want to be when I grow up? Happily successful at something I love that brings some sort of good to this screwed up world--Amen. For the most part I am already doing it by refusing to do any old damn job just because I feel I have to. I would rather have less, then work at something that limits my minds capabilities. Think about it...if you are working in a job and struggling to make ends meet---why not at least for now, work doing something you enjoy. Odds are you will still be struggling for cash, but you might find that the shitty paying job that tweaks your interest will also open up that surpressed brainflow and the creative juices that have been sitting idol for far too long! Next thing you know you are CEO of ME Company! It can happen if you let it and each one of you knows it.

Any thoughts?

It's 6 AM and this is what I am thinking about.....

If you know me---then you know that I get up everyday at 6 AM. Why? I have no idea. Whether you have to get up at this hour or you are just strange like me--do yourself a favor. Go outside on the deck, porch, whatever and look up. This morning I saw the most beautiful set of stars and lucky me, even a falling one. So of course I did that ever so selfless wish for my family and friends. Try it--the morning stars are amazing!

OK, now that I have gotten my soft side out of the way--let's talk about sex. Good sex, bad sex, same old sex. Had them all. Good sex in my mind comes from a couple of good sources.

The new relationship--very rarely does a new horizontal mambo leave you empty. If it does, generally it is over. I would say on average the newness lasts about a year. By that point "IF" you are the sexual diva that I expect my readers to be...you have tried just about every position possible and now it is time to get a little creative. The combination of great sex and true love is possible, but it takes two and open communication. If you stop initiating the sex or communicating your needs you are soon to step into vast growing number of women in the next group--

Good sex is always good when it is forbidden. You know what I am talking about. One night stands, the taken man, the old boyfriend, the boss, you get my point. This type of sex can be euphoric if you don't blow it by overthinking! So, what can we do to make our so called "respectable" relationship more satisfying? This is something we need to join together and figure out...............

Now the dreaded--bad sex. Missionary man, two pump chump, 2 inch Charlie, this one's for you Bob, and if I have to fake it one more time I am gonna kill myself--situations. What if you love the person who you secretly nickname? Most of us have just accepted it and figure--well it could be worse. I know so many women who just lay there and think--it will be over soon. That is not what an "IF" woman should do. You must fix this problem at once! If the relationship is new and it just isn't working do everyone a favor and move on. He'll be OK and soon you will be showing your famous sit and spin move to someone else. If you are there for the duration or have other reasons for remaining on that team---you MUST express your concerns. Tell him! Show him! Odds are he will at least try and comply. Be gentle for starters because bruising his ego is like chopping of a testicle, it hurts. If that fails...get a lover. Men have been doing it for centuries and let me tell you something ladies--so have women, but they are smart enough to keep it to themselves. That is a whole other topic we will soon explore.

Finally--same old sex. This pretty much falls into the bad sex category. We dearly love our significant other--but that once a week ten minute jaunt is just not doing it. So what do we do? Try dressing as a little school girl and be in the kitchen making his favorite dish one evening. Even if you don't cook--cook. You could be making a hair pie...(ha ha) and all he will see is that little checkered skirt and knee highs...they are all pervs. There are thousands of great ideas on how to spice up that stale mate....I would like to hear a few of your proven techniques. I am going to prepare a list and post it here soon, so I need your stories.

I could go on and on with this topic, but I wanted to get the ball rolling. Sex will certainly be a topic heavily discussed. For those of you who are just not getting laid at all----what the hell are you waiting for? Quit overthinking and go find a once-in-awhile-companion. Those are the very best kind! Rejoice in your freedom and do some exploring. It is ok to have casual sex, in fact it is wonderful. Just be smart, safe, and somewhat selective. Just make sure to call him a cab when you are done..........

Ok, here's the deal....

After being slammed by my very good, but crazy friend who likes to call herself Roxy--I need to clarify a few things.

First, this blog is for all women: married, single, divorced, bi, lesbian, Chinese, red heads, polygamists, adulteresses, ministers, tall women...you get my drift. Yes, even my perky twenty-something vixens are welcome, but no whining! Just kidding.

Basically, if you have a vagina and can understand the language you are invited to discuss the issues that affect us all. More importantly we need to discuss the topics that we are not supposed to openly discuss. You know what I am talking about. I have decided to list a few of my choice menu items.

Bad Sex/Good Sex/Same old Sex
I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up, but don't tell anybody!
So what if I don't like kids...
Oh my god! He's married?
So how many have you slept with?
I hate when my husband.........
My kids are grown and I'm still horny (Roxy)
Changing careers....again!
My man does not want to do me enough---yes it happens.
Where to meet quality men--OK how about just any men?
I am 39, not married, am I too set in my ways?
Favorite and least favorite positions.
Fabulous and Forty--something.
Cougar and kitten--Hey I get to be both!

OK--that should do it for now. I will start the ball rolling on as much of this as I can. The rest will be up to you. If you are shy, please find another site. If you are not, you may want to use another name. If I know who you are--odds are I already know how dirty you are so no need to hold back. Salute!

Hey Roxy--I am sure you hate this picture too, but screw you! xoxox

"IF" he can do it..she can do it!

Don't get me wrong...I love men. All of them--period. But an "IF" woman can do just about anything on her own.

She can.....change a tire, head a company, build a house, take out her own garbage, fix her computer, have casual sex, mow the lawn and pay for dinner. And the list goes on and on.....

We no longer need to be the "little woman" and it is about damn time. Can you even imagine having to wait for your man to do what you need done today? No way! How many times do you hear your female counterparts bitching about Johnny never taking out the garbage, or Kevin forgetting to check your tire pressure? Forget it. Do it yourself.

Once you develop the basic skills to fend for yourself you will be amazed at what you can achieve. There is nothing sexier than a woman in a tool belt---trust me on this one. Beware...your man or flavor of the month will not know what hit him when he sees you fixing the sink. The Internet can teach you to do almost anything and so can Home Depot (tons of men there). Pick a topic and learn something new today.

I am not suggesting that we let our men get lazy or neglect certain responsibilities, but I am suggesting that you learn how to do it on your own. An "IF" woman can bake it, make it, shake it, but never fakes it!

Ready, set, rant!

She is smart, sexy, savage. She is confident, carefree, curious. She is.......every woman.

OK, well here it is--my long awaited blogging debut! So much to say and so little time. I want this blog to be an open forum for understanding the complex mind of the independent female. What is an independent female? A smart, sexy, stylish woman who is proud to be....dare I say it, alone. Oh, it must be so sad...that's what I hear all the time. No children? Why? Can't find a good husband? Must be something wrong with her. When are you gonna get married? WHAT ABOUT YOUR EGGS??? My response to all of this......I'll take mine over easy. My men, my eggs, the kids easily passed back to their parents and no marriage makes for an easy breakup when necessary. Doesn't sound so bad now does it?

Special note: We all know that it is quite possible to be married or in relationship and still be alone. Many of my esteemed married gal pals are the bread winners, Mrs. Fix It's and head masters of their domain. They are the ultimate "IF" contributors. Kudos to you ladies--I am sure we have a lot in common!

I know and love countless women just like me and I am ready to share the amazing experiences that come along with being a vibrant, successful, age is just a number--superstar! Our spirit is bold and our sheets are never cold. Tune in and enjoy the ride..........