I had a huge epiphany this morning! I am my man's mother.......please God help me.
Let me explain. Numnuts works likes there is no tomorrow. So, being the loving, good-natured "IF" woman I am, I make sure that he is well catered to. He does not ever want for food, clean clothing, cleanliness, warmth, I fix his boo-boo's, listen when he is angry, help him with his homework and pretty much take care of anything that goes wrong with him.
"I am his new mother"............yuck! I have no idea how that happened, but I do know that it may be the cause of our "lack" of excitement in the bedroom, or any other room for that matter. Oh, I guess I hadn't mentioned that yet. Yes, I of all people have fallen prey to the same old sex syndrome. Can you blame him? Who besides Freud wants to sleep with their mother? What have I done!!!!!!!!
Several years ago, I had a great conversation with my dear friend Vicky (sitting poolside at her million dollar condo-provided by her husband Tom) and mildly induced by a few glasses of wine among other things--proceeded to tell me in a slow, blue-blooded, southern draw......
"Girrrrl, I don't clean, I don't cook, no laundry, no grocery shoppin......nada damn thing for em!" Since I knew Vic and knew this statement to be 100% true I asked her simply, "How do you get away with it?" Vic, with a great mid-afternoon slur said, "He has one of two choices--either I do all that shit like his momma used to and never fuck em, or I fuck em. Plain and simple." She now lives in a 3 million dollar pad on Bald Head Island......still doesn't cook.
If I had only listened to Ms. Vicky!
*Had to use her actual words--you had to get the full effect.
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I remember that conversation like it was yesterday. I also remember thinking to myself that it was the sad truth that she was to be speaking. Although, we both know that this is a way to be that is hard for a lot of women. It is not in most women's nature to sit back and do nothing, and then receive a million dollar condo. I myself would feel selfish. If the man does not live up to my expectations, I would rather step out of the relationship knowing that I tried. Besides, I would get so bored. (and so would you. You know that you always need to keep busy. It is part of being a woman)
Oh, and for the record, I love that Vickie. She is the only lady that I know that can pull off not doing a thing for tha man and get away with it so gracefully. She does it in a way that she is still able to smile. Contagiously. To know Vickie is to love her. She is a sweet, fun and crazy lady who appreciates everything that she posesses.
Well it's about damn time! I was hoping to hear from you and joining in here just makes me feel peachy! Yes, you are right--Vic is a legend, but the more I experience these relationships--I realize she did it the right way. I can think of a thousand other things I would like to be doing other than numnuts laundry! Think about it--if you met someone and you can't cook and he can't cook--you get to experience thousands of restaurants or starve! Glad to see you here slgross...your smart wit and outrageous humor will be a perfect asset. Please keep talkin...hey did you like the hot dog saying? Thanks for that..got anymore?
See, I think it all begins at the start of the relationship. You don't want the man that you're having incredible sex with and everything is soooo great and the relationship is blooming, to think you can't cook him a good meal. I feel that when you do all of those things in the beginning you are somehow in your own mind thinkin'-see, I can cook, clean, etc..what a package i am! I'm not one of those girls who is like-Oh, hee-hee, i can f-up boiling water! But what you're saying is right-what a revelation, it would be like sleeping with your mother! YOu are not alone-I don't go out of my way anymore to do those things, but I still feel like a mother. Babe, don't fall asleep on the couch, make sure you turn the lights out, don't forget your sunscreen when palying 45 holes of golf, etc... We can't help it, it's who we are! We don't want to appear weak..We are superwomen who do it all and then for some reason bitch about it! Recently, I was so sick of cleaning this house that I told myself I wasn't going to do it anymore and what happened- I eventually cleaned it cuz apparently no one else was gonna do it! So, who knows what the real theory is on this one? If I was with a guy who had shitloads of money, then I wouldn't clean and would hire a cleaning person. I wouldn't cook, cuz we'd just eat out all the time,etc...Would it lead to better sex life? Well, if I ever meet a guy with a lot of money who wants to hang out for a while then I'll test the waters
There is a reason I don't have kids...because I don't like them. So why in the hell do I let myself mother a full grown man? I have no idea. I too have tried the I will not clean thing--it finally worked. Numnutts hired the cleaning lady back and so be it, but I will never pay a penny for her. Hey ??? why don't you find a good sugar daddy? Your gorgeous and down right freaky---some old man would pay big bucks for those playboy titties...then meet Raoul his gardner on Tuesdays out at the pool house for some sit and spin action. Oh wait, that's my dream sorry........
I hear ya, ????! If I met someone with all that moolah, then yes, I too would test the waters!
But why does it take money for us not to be the slaves??? Can't he clean, cook, do laundry and all that shit for us? Instead of us being the mommies--where is the "who's your daddy" mentality?
TRICK, then TREAT! If he does your trick (cleaning, cooking, etc), then she should reward him with a Sunday sit & spin treat. When my wife worked a graveyard shift, I ensured that the kitchen was immaculate and smelled like Pine Sol throughout every night before going to sleep just so she would wake me up to give me her sweetest treat. After she quit rewarding me, I just quit doing the trick. It’s as simple as Ms Vicky’s philosophy…a man will take care of the household duties if their woman takes care of their bedroom duties!
Sounds perfect to me Don, but what if he won't do either? Is he worth the fight? What if he works too much and can't do any of his duties? How is a woman suppossed to just accept that even though she tries because at least he is not out hanging at the bars (as my father put's it)--he is at work. It is a terrible lose-lose. Thanks for jumping in...keep it coming!
Oh my gosh, Ms. Vicky! Whew! what a hoot! I recently saw her on a visit to Bald Head Island, and her "Southern Slurrin" self! Bless her heart!
All I have to say is this...A man will do a lot for the "reward"! But, we women can have a lot if we know how to "reward" ourselves, too. See, I think it's a win-win situation. My man gets the reward he works for, and I get the credit card! He likes the way I look in my new dress, and do-me-now pumps, and I like the way I feel in them. But, we both like the way we feel when he's helping me out of that dress! Who cares if the house is clean, or the laundry's done, or there's anything other than my panties edible in the house?! That's what they make maids, delivery, and dry cleaners for!
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