In the past two days I have done everything that I had anticipated doing over this brief holiday and now I am suddenly left bored and unfulfilled.
On Thursday, I raced around to everyone's house to make sure I could pitch in and help all of the cooks/hosts only to receive a little less than a nod of thanks. The crowds at both houses sat around all hum-drum and beside my normal anxiety--they all bored me to death.
Then yesterday I got up early...pulled out the remainder of the Xmas decorations anticipating hours of long work and childhood excitement only to get it all done and look around and say, "Well that really fucking sucked." Now what?
Finally my beloved 12-year-old niece stayed the past two nigths so that she could work me for her $80.00 boots (she just had to have) only to discover that once they were bought the fun was also abruptly over.
Where is the excitement? Am I the only one that anticipates things are going to be fulfilling only to find that they are NOT! I wonder...do people have spicy, entertaining lives? If so...could someone please give them my number. I feel so vibrant and young all of the time, but my days are becoming motherly. I told my Numnuts that my lifestyle is perfect for a little Numnuts--although I would rather have my eyelids pulled over my head.
Those of us without husband and child (and I know who you are)---why are we living the lifestyle of the "married and motherly" and not taking advantage of the "free and frisky" lifestyle that we actually have? I woke up this morning and realized that all of the "nice" shit I did the past 2 days actually sucked and I am tired of convincing myself that all of this goodie-goodie stuff is going to make me happy. I am very good at it...but I think it straight up blows.
What if I got hit my a bus tomorrow. The final things I did were make some stupid cookies, dust off 100 stuffed snowmen, buy a 12-year-old (who would rather be on her myspace) some expensive boots and wash a thousand dishes for my mother. Oh shoot me now!
My alter ego is on high alert. No more Mary Poppins bullshit for me---I hate Mary Poppins she is creepy. I am looking for those of you who want some excitement in your life. Let me know if you do.
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18 comments:
Oh my God, you sound like me. I spent the weekend in a beautiful suite and the most exciting thing that happened was the maid laughing hysterically at my girl's dildo! What the f_ _ _?
I rarely feel joy or fun and I'm quite tired of it. When the fun people call, please keep me in mind.
And by the way, buying Christmas gifts is in no way exciting to me either!
After watching the newlyweds and old farts, I've come to the conclusion that the married with children life sucks too. Been there and the kids are the most perfect distraction from the fact that you have no life. I love mine more than anything but now what? Ugggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!
Where have you been wild child? I am in the midst of a alter ego breakdown! I am having a Oh my God I almost midlife crisis. Whay suite....awww did you take your "forget you when she is traveling the world" sweetie on a trip. Stop being such a good guy!!! You will get no where and you know it! But I appreciate you.
As you already know, I feel the same way...we try to make things absolutely fabulous for others and they are just not into it. I suppose that's just how their character is, sooooo sad! I think life is about making it fun and memorable, living through various experiences and being able to tell your story, and making the place a little better however that may be. Even if it's random acts of kindness, you're doing something to make this a better place to be at that moment. I guess if people don't see it as we do, then oh well, what can we do???? It's discouraging to get others to see how we strive so hard to make a difference...but you know what, as long as we know we're making a difference, I guess that's all that matters. Holidays are tough! I try so hard each year to put all my thoughts into a special gift and hope the person receiving it "gets what I'm trying to tell them". Not actually what I'm trying to tell them, but the message I'm trying to convey about what this gift means to me and what it means giving it you...Hard to put into words really, that's why sometimes I get so aggravated at this time of year. What you're trying to do is to just make it special for everyone else to make it special for you, it seems like a selfless act until the receiver isn't as grateful as much as you thought...I don't even know if what I'm saying here is making any sense to anyone reading, but I know what I mean. I suppose I'm venting, so, thanks to all who are reading and happy holidays to all...And, as long as we feel like we're trying to make each year more special than the last, well, that's all that should really matter. If those people don't see that, then they're one of the unlucky ones. I try to believe in the old saying, "what comes around, goes around".
Also, to the address the other part of your blog, The excitement? Feel the same way...what's wrong with people, you may be tired or bored too, but you're trying to make everything great...I often have people ask me, "How do you find the time?", well the answer is if it really matters to you, then you make time. I don't know why I try to make things so great for others when they're so tired they don't appreciate it anyway...I guess I want them to be like me and suck it up, act like you're not tired and make sacrifices. I mean, isn't that what life really is all about, making sacrifices for others? Whether family, friends, or loved ones, you are there...Keep doing what you're doing SB, you know in your heart that you can't do any different whatever the case may be, but we just wish others looked at it the same way. Are these people self-centered? I don't know, I guess just different values, which includes my personal friends, family, and loved ones. You've said before that it would be boring if we all thought the same way, but in this subject, why can't people see what an effort their loved ones (ie,family,friends) are doing to make their life a little more special...Again, does this make sense, who knows!
Hey Kiddo! Actually I was on a trip for the holiday to the forget about me for two months relatives in the most boring city on the planet. It totally sucked and I'm glad to be back. I wasn't being a nice guy, her family paid.
I was hoping to put a smile on my own face for a while but it didn't happen. I think my midlife crisis came in my late 20's. The only time my smile comes back is when I make someone I love smile, so I relate really well to what you and ??? said.
That also means I miss talking to you because you always make me smile. I'm sorry about your friend. I don't have many so I know how it feels to lose one. Take care of yourself and I'll be in touch
Thanks ??? and Jimmy. I know I can always count on you for some excellent feedback. Those who know you including me are very lucky to have you.
Jimmy..why does your sweetie bring a dildo everywhere? Dare I ask?
Sun, the only thing I can say at this moment is maybe you can try spending "your holiday time" with some other people, even if it's once in awhile or to just change things up a bit...change of scenery can be very good. I decided not to go to my mom's this Thanksgiving simply to take the time for myself and relax after my crazy work and Gala schedule. I can only imagine what was said about me at the dinner table but I'm HAPPY with my decision.
Since I'm still single, my holiday's are always a bit different each year so I haven't gotten "stuck" in the big family thing. I truly feel that had a done "the right thing" and spent Thanksgiving with my mom and Casey it would've left me feeling very similar to your experience so I simply made a selfish decision and stayed home (I do envy those with great family holidays though but that's not mine-right now). I didn't do anything exciting (and would like to add some excitement and travel soon so maybe I can jump in on any fun trips once I'm settled in my new place). Anyway, excitement wasn't what I was looking for this year...
The people at the Festival of Trees and the Flotilla were absolutely great to be around...they shared great stories and a lot of laughter.
I didn't hang out with a lot of people but the ones that I did see gave me just what I needed....no expectations and stress just quality time with some great people. Thanksgiving Day was spent cooking at my house with Jason and doing nothing unless I wanted to. Yesterday I ran errands and enjoyed some much needed alone time and last night was spent with a few good friends and watching some of the Flotilla and checking out some of the holiday decor in Wrightsville Beach...the weather was nice and the festivities were perfect for me and my needs this year.
I guess I am rampling a bit but at best I can say to do more of what makes YOU happy during the holiday's, whether it's family or not, it could make a big difference!
If you're not making yourself happy you will NOT get that happiness your seeking from others-the holidays can be very stressful.
Thanksgiving has past and Christmas and New Years are a few weeks away. Think about it, What would make YOU happy? Do something for you!
Thank you Sunny. I'm glad that I met you because you're truly a friend when I need one.
Now Sunny, you know she brings it everywhere because I get really cranky if I don't get drilled with 9" of super thick rubber dick on a regular basis! Sorry you asked or happy to be laughing so hard? Which by the way was yet another reason this weekend sucked because it just sat there and never went to work. At least the maid got a good laugh! See you soon Kiddo.
Ro..you know me and my respect for family. It is murder sometimes. I feel it is my obligation to do whatever is necessary to show my admiration for "everyone's family." Sometimes it gets hard, but as much as I try I don't think I will ever change. I only wish sometimes it was recgonized. The nice part about being single is you can hop around to pick and chose where to spend the holidays. Take advantage of the freedom...sooner or later you will be running ragged for your special Numnuts and his family! Arrgghhh!
In 2003, my best friend's family and my family started a tradition of renting a cabin the European Alps for a Thanksgiving ski weekend. One additional family joined us the first year, then it grew to four families in 2005 and 2006. Every family was responsible for bringing part of the overall dinner (my best friend fried the turkeys, we did veggies & dessert, etc). This way the minority didn't feel used and abused slaving in the kitchen after the majority just stuffed their faces and barely said "thanks" to the cooks.
What I'm suggesting here is planning a nice weekend doing a fun-filled activity somewhere away from home with the actual family and friends you like to be around.
I really missed doing that this year since the USAF moved my best friend back to Florida last December. I'm telling you, those four years celebrating Thanksgiving that special way created some of the best memories that I'll cherish for my lifetime .
Hey! Don's back! Glad to see you my friend. I absolutely LOVE your idea. Sadly, I don't think either side of our family would come but I am starting to think that I am too old to simply cater to their needs. Last year my honey and I went to Marco Island FL for the entire month of December and it was wonderful. Xmas was just the two of us and I am already missing it this year. He is too much to leave for that length of time right now. Tell you what--if you ever need a new set of friends to join in for your holiday escapades you let me know! Don't know if we would make it all the way to the European Alps...but you never know with me. Have suitcase will travel has always been my thnking. Thanks for coming back and also for your kind words to my dear friend Hillary. Maybe next year since your best friend is back in Florida we'll all meet up there!
That's exactly my point...only real family and friends will go to the trouble of planning/paying for a trip like that to spend it with you. You automatically get rid of the deadbeats!
I might be meeting my brother in Tahoe to ski in January 2008. I'll definitely let you know the dates to see if you really do have your suitcase ready for last minute travels.
P.S. I like coming back because at least you write me back (not like others I know who shall remain nameless).
If you were the target of my P.S. comment above, would that piss you off? I'm just wondering because I don't expect IFs to be thin-skinned.
Anyway, what a coincidence that I got the response I was looking for even though it wasn't admitted to being a factor. Did you play a direct role in that? Would you even admit it to me if you did (might break some secret IF code of conduct)?
I find it hard to believe you didn't, but my true intentions were to keep the dialog going (definitely not to abruptly end it)! Only time will tell.
Morning Don...I have no idea what you are talking about. I am a little confused. The only thing I can gather is you are talking about Ro?
I am not sure how often she reads and if you are asking me if I have discussed her correspondence with you---my answer is no. Is this what you are referring to? Hell I didn't even know until recently how you knew her. Not my business.
One thing you will learn with me Don is that I don't get into others business like a lot of women do. The reason: I just don't care.
Sound harsh, but unless someone I care for is deeply troubled or asks me to get involved in their dealings I try and stay as far away as possible. I have learned my lesson on getting involved---especially when it comes to my female friends. No thanks. Spent 2 years helping one with all of her perosnal issues and now we no longer have a relationship (I guess I knew too much).
So no need to involve me in the details--but please do not assume all women are caddy and secretly plotting...especially me. And surely not on here--I started this for everyone to be connected, no biases and no secret codes.
Thanks and take it easy would ya? You almost sounded angry there--not worth it.
Not angry or trying to get you to mettle. I was just looking for your perspective and trying to keep things from getting blown out of proportion.
Can't give any perspective considering I have no idea what the topic is....
What I do know is Ro is very focused right now on Ro. She has been busting her hump trying to build the life she so deserves and as for now nothing else matters. So I wouldn't sweat it.
Hello All!
Let me set the record straight. I have a lot going on as Sunday said and as much as I am focusing on meeting some of my personal goals I have also been spending time doing what I love...helping others with volunteering and putting on a fundraiser, etc. Work is presenting some issues so I just haven't been spending much time chatting online here or on myspace. Nothing personal, I am a beginner with all of this so I don't get on for hours every day to chat with everyone like some people do. Hell, I think I've only been able to spend time contributing to this blogger on my lazy Sunday afternoons. I'm not really sure what all the fuss is about?! I'm sure some of my closest friends will say I don't communicate online or over the phone often enough when I am busy but they are also the ones that understand and love me for who I am.
BTW: I wrote to catch up when I had some free time, I just saw the blogger today so it wasn't b/c I read this and thought I should write. Quite honestly, reading all this would've done the complete opposite...
Record is straight and response expectations have been lowered.
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