I would like to someday understand why men are unable to say what they really feel? Is it a genetic malfunction? Is it that they are not capable? Or is it simply they have learned that they can get away with saying as few words as possible?
I think it it safe to say that women constantly express their emotions (even the tough ones) only to find that the person for whom they are expressing them self to (if male) often neglects to respond. I am being very vague about this so here is a fine example.
Gentlemen: If a woman says how she feels about you or a certain subject open your mouth and say something back! It does not have to be the right response--just a response. Nothing is more frustrating to a woman than feeling as if she is talking to a mute. If you are privileged enough to have her tell you she misses you, she wants you, she can't wait to screw you....whatever, use that moment to your advantage.
Ladies tell me if I am right about this: If your man takes 3 seconds and responds to something you have presented to him, does it or does it not have the ability to influence your entire day? Yes, I know...amazing that a few little words could have such a great impact. Honestly, I think it is pathetic, but that's the way the cookie crumbles.
So let's all practice---ready? WOMAN: Hi Mike. How are you? Hey I just want you to know that I really miss seeing you. MIKE: I miss seeing you too. Oh my god!!! See how easy that was? Guaranteed the person for whom Mike just said he missed will have some added pep in her step and be happily thinking of great ways to reward him. It is really that pathetic.
Women are driven by words. Good words, bad words, just give her some feedback. If Mike didn't miss her it is OK for him to tell her that too. She would rather know then assume that he might. Finally the one word answers...OK, NO, YES, SURE---I fucking hate them. I need at least a fragment....so please just spit it out. It could really make someones day.
I am not suggesting that all men are guilty as charged (Don, Jimmy) but the majority I have encountered in my life do this on a daily basis and it is something we women discuss endlessly.
So ladies......is a 3 second response enough to make your day?
I think it it safe to say that women constantly express their emotions (even the tough ones) only to find that the person for whom they are expressing them self to (if male) often neglects to respond. I am being very vague about this so here is a fine example.
Gentlemen: If a woman says how she feels about you or a certain subject open your mouth and say something back! It does not have to be the right response--just a response. Nothing is more frustrating to a woman than feeling as if she is talking to a mute. If you are privileged enough to have her tell you she misses you, she wants you, she can't wait to screw you....whatever, use that moment to your advantage.
Ladies tell me if I am right about this: If your man takes 3 seconds and responds to something you have presented to him, does it or does it not have the ability to influence your entire day? Yes, I know...amazing that a few little words could have such a great impact. Honestly, I think it is pathetic, but that's the way the cookie crumbles.
So let's all practice---ready? WOMAN: Hi Mike. How are you? Hey I just want you to know that I really miss seeing you. MIKE: I miss seeing you too. Oh my god!!! See how easy that was? Guaranteed the person for whom Mike just said he missed will have some added pep in her step and be happily thinking of great ways to reward him. It is really that pathetic.
Women are driven by words. Good words, bad words, just give her some feedback. If Mike didn't miss her it is OK for him to tell her that too. She would rather know then assume that he might. Finally the one word answers...OK, NO, YES, SURE---I fucking hate them. I need at least a fragment....so please just spit it out. It could really make someones day.
I am not suggesting that all men are guilty as charged (Don, Jimmy) but the majority I have encountered in my life do this on a daily basis and it is something we women discuss endlessly.
So ladies......is a 3 second response enough to make your day?
6 comments:
Now Sunny, be very careful what you're asking for because you might be going against the "Men are from Mars" grain here. You don't want men to get the wrong impression and violate the main advise I read to keep my damn mouth shut. Didn't God give us two ears and one mouth to LISTEN twice as much as we TALK?
Men are traditionally brought up to work things out or fix things on their own with little to no help from the outside. Asking for help or crying on someone's shoulder is a sign of weakness - that's the last thing a man wants to be labeled. Why do you think most men generally keeps their feelings to themselves no matter how bad the circumstance? If you poured your guts out to a group of other guys, you were instantly labeled a "pussy" or "cry baby" for doing that kind of thing.
Women, on the other hand, are never or rarely humiliated by either male or female when they share their feelings or show emotions to others. That's the big difference here.
Empathy is what you're really asking for men to share with you! Unless I'm mistaken, you just want hear Numbnuts acknowledge that it's okay to feel the way you're feeling about something or that he has felt the same way too. You definitely don't want him to suggest how he would go about fixing the issue at hand, right?
You may be right about the contridictions..but there is always a happy medium. I love when anyone listens to what I have to say, but am sadly disgruntled when I do not get a response.
Actually this topic and many others really don't refer to Numnuts. Overall he is a pretty good listener and he has learned to respond. Spending 4 years of his life with me has taught him a few fine qualities. I often joke with him and tell him that I have him primed for the next woman in his life. He doesn't think it is funny.
I was having a conversation with a friend yesterday and we were discussing this subject and I believe it to be very true. How many times do you hear women bitch about telling someone how they feel then never getting a response from the adjacent party. Well, maybe you don't hear it--but I sure do. All I am suggesting is if someone goes out of their way to say something--hell it could be, "I hate your fucking guts" men should have the skill and ability to say something back.
My numnuts used to just look at me when I said little things (miss you, thinking of you, etc.) luckily he caught on and does pretty good. But I guarantee the majority of my fellow IF crusaders has experienced one too many episodes of "I am a deaf mute man." I think it is sad that men are crafted to be mutes...but not you Don!
Wow, I definately agree. Even if a man just says, "Okay." when his woman says she's about to do something. "Like, do you even hear me?" And all males are alike, because my 5 year old and 1 year old sons are the same way. "Could you bring me down some socks when you come back down?" ...no response... "Could you bring me down some socks when you come back down?"... Still no response. So I say it one more time evn louder, "Could you bring me down some socks when you come back down?" Response: "FUCK, I'M FUCKING GETTING THEM!" My response: "Well FUCKING respond next time!" (That would be a conversation with my man of course. I don't talk to my kids like that.....usually). So anyway, all he had to say was "okay" and it wouldn't have started a battle.
Whoa! Sunny I know you excluded Don and I from this blurb but I must disagree on this (at least to an extent). Men are able to say what they feel, if they know what they feel. I do not agree that women in general constantly express their emotions. I think most women constantly express a secret code which only some of us (men) are able to decipher.
I would never ignore a statement of feeling or concern or otherwise from my woman, a women, anybody. However, when a women rants, and I'm not referring to you because I always know what you're thinking, many times what is said is nowhere near want she is really feeling. Granted, maybe that happens because she feels her man won't listen/understand but that is no excuse.
To any man out there that is reading this, you are not a man if you can't talk openly with your woman.
To all the women out there, say what you mean and you might be surprised. If your thoughts go unattended, find someone that cares!
la la la
I can't hear you
la la la
Ok....I disagree sorta. My point is way too often women have to force men to speak. I mean how hard is it to just do what you say and say what you mean. Men get confused too easily and forget to keep it simple stupid. KISS. It really can be frustrating. But I hear what you are saying.
Talking and really listening is important for both men and women when they really care about each other. But I agree, some kind of answer is better then nothing at all. But I don't think it's just men. My mom has the same problem with Casey and I have other friends that have the same problem with their kids...if they have alot going on or focused on themselves they really don't pay attention to those around them like they should and I don't really know how to get people to stop and listen.
Post a Comment