The Power of One.......

For the record: I do not think this picture is funny, I think it is sad and displays the twisted anger of those dealing with this loss.

Why do we put the fate of our own happiness in the hands of another? Everyone I know does this. EVERYONE! So, before I get deep into this--and the skeptics "come a runnin"...every person I have ever met has allowed another person to cause them severe misery at one point in time.

Why do we let this happen? Is it that love thing? Is it that we don't love ourselves enough? Aren't there more important things we could be doing with our time than being absorbed in emotions caused by another human being?

Here is what I think: We are taught to establish relationships, we are groomed to make them meaningful and beneficial to continue the procreation of the human race. Problem is...we have to pick one person. How in the world is one person supposed to meet all our desired needs? It is impossible so we make due with what we have and go on.

We pick a person, (sometimes abruptly) and we try and try to make a wholesome and loving environment usually sacrificing many of the joys of life, but we try. Now what happens when that someone decides they don't want us anymore or we don't want them? You have just spent years accepting the relationship, building a future and suddenly you are left with nothing. According to many in this situation--the nothing they feel is ridiculously overwhelming and sometimes intolerable. So what are they to do?

A very good friend of mine has had his entire world overturned thanks to the unwarranted decision of his wife of 20-some years to leave him. According to him--she would not accept his attempt to provide more for his family when he had to start working 100 hours a week. This man who is insanely kind and loving is now shattered because she so selfishly decided not to accept his work ethic.

I being someone who has lived with a workaholic for several years understand her dismay--slightly, but I could not imagine destroying someone just because they are making an attempt at a better life for me and our family. This is all that he has done. The first 20 years this guy was home for dinner, always there for the kids, pampered his wife and now he is left to pick up the pieces that she tore apart and it is very trying.

My friend is just one of many whose world is upside down because of another. How can one person be so powerful? How long will it take for this great guy to heal those dagger wounds? Why is so much precious time and energy taken from him all because of another human beings ability to be so wretched? It is an age old mystery.......

My point with all of this is: If we love ourselves more than we love another, will it help us when the relationship fails? How is it possible for some to just walk away, rip the life out of another and go on? I for one have always been pretty good about moving on--it has come with age and experience. I have also found a tremendous love of thyself. I wasn't looking for it, time spent alone will do that to you, but I am glad I found it.

So the discussion here today folks is--what can we do to protect ourselves from the wrath of another. If we lose someone of are forced to release someone, what is the best way for a quicker recovery? If you are a heartless freak, then this one is not for you. I know a lot of people going through divorce and I have to tell you---it is frightening. The anger and hurt is almost inhuman. Maybe we should just spare ourselves the potential dangers and not expect anyone to fulfill us.....but what would we have then? It is just so confusing.

Should we all just become emotionless zombies? Oh and for those are thinking...just find someone else--that migth work for some, but I doubt it is the best answer. My suggestion to my friend is for him to turn that hurt for her into admiration of himself.

Any thoughts?